I’m sitting here today with such a strong feeling of happiness; something way beyond anything I’ve ever experienced!
Let me backtrack: it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but for good reason! I met a guy. I’m sure you are thinking: DETAILS, PLEASE! Well here it is…I had absolutely no interest in meeting a man from my hometown. In my previous posts I have explained to you my desire to move away, to get out of this small town, and find a new place to call home. Although that is still my plan (I will NEVER deviate), I may be sidetracked for a little while considering this new love interest.
I have a small group of acquaintances dating back to high school who are the same age and single. Once I was separated, I reconnected with them. Mostly, this just secured an invite to a happy hour every so often. Well, of course there had to be a certain guy who struck my interest one evening while out with these friends. I had asked about him before to various people but nobody really seemed to take my inquiries seriously. So, I took it upon myself to connect on social media (I know; how “millennial” of me). Shortly thereafter we went on our first date; we had so much fun! First, I’d like to say how comfortable this man made (and makes) me feel. I was hesitant to talk about my divorce and “previous life” and what brought me out on a date in the first place. Part of me felt insecure having to tell someone that my marriage didn’t work out and that I was back on the market. I’ve had people freak out when they found out I’m still technically married. His reaction was so welcoming and supportive! All night we joked and had serious conversation, we sipped on our wine/beer and took shots. By the end of our first date, we were heavy making out in my car; fogging up the windows- I felt 16 again! ßmostly due to the alcohol consumption, but screw it, it was liberating!
Do you remember your first love? How exciting just making out and touching was? Well, that’s how I felt with him! We kissed for at least an hour. I felt ridiculous making out in a parking lot, but screw it, we had so much fun!
Fast forward to today (just a couple months later), I still can’t get over how exciting and fun my life has become. I don’t know why I thought as soon as I got married that I needed to settle down and be Martha Stewart. Just the other day, after we spent a weekend out of town, hiking, biking, dining in a city, and just having an overall amazing time (with mind blowing sex!! J J ), I recalled how I used to live my life before my separation: very calm and scheduled. I’m not saying my marriage was a total bore, but I chose to sit at home and read books on Friday nights, I stuck to the same routine during the week, and I always considered our finances too tight to do anything out of the norm.
Whether or not this relationship works (although I’m hopeful, of course!) what I want to bring to you is to have hope.
I used to get so irritated when people would tell me “you’ll meet the right man when you stop looking.” But damn if I can’t agree more! I was so persistent on driving a few hours away to get my booty calls and attention from guys; I got strung out in stupid ‘relationships’ that meant nothing with people who didn’t give a shit about me. But, when I was fed up and just open to having a good time (“fuck men!” was my mantra) that’s when I met someone I really have ended up caring so much about. He treats me so well; we spend so much time together doing fun things: hiking, biking, traveling, eating at nice restaurants, talking about things that mean something.
What seemed to be the biggest question I would get from him at the beginning was – “How have you never been in love? You’ve been married; you went all the way with a guy.” I try to explain to him that I married my best friend. We have such great memories together, but we tied the knot for all the wrong reasons. Instead of holding out for what I’m feeling and experiencing now, I was in a rush to settle down and be the person everyone else expected me to be.
Life lesson right here: DO YOU! The minute I stopped caring what other people thought about me, was the exact moment I realized how truly happy I am. I am thankful for all the things I’ve gone through with my marriage and divorce, but when I sucked it up and stopped worrying what my ex, friends, and family thought about me, that’s when I really found my happiness. The perk is that I found it with a sexy, masculine, kind, and fun man!
Until next time…